Hello class! Some of you have had difficulty figuring out how to post here. I realize it's not terribly intuitive. But here you go - Where is says "Subscribe" - and "Post" next to it - click that, that will open up a comment block and you go from there. Of course, YOU MUST "sign-in" first also. The sign-in is found in the upper left had section of the blog page. If you have any other problems or questions-drop me an email. David
Students, If you have any trouble posting to this blog, just put your post in a "reply" to this post of mine. We'll all be able to see them and each will be able to comment. Thanks!David B
Graham Berner Exercise 11:03 You know those mornings where everything just goes according to plan? Well, this wasn’t one of those mornings. I woke up to a phone call from my mom, she was yelling at me to get out of bed because I was late for my first day of work. This was my first job, and I was already late. I grabbed a pair of wrinkled khakis and gave them the sniff test, good to go. I’m running up the stairs and I almost forget my work shirt. I open my closet door to grab my shirt, shirts not there. I couldn’t think of where it was, then it hit me, my shirt is under my bed. I know, why is my new work shirt under my bed? Well the night before my mom called me on her way home to ask if I cleaned up the clothes in my room, she had asked me earlier in the day to do that. I answered anyway a teenager would, “Of course mom. They are all cleaned up.” Well needless to say the second I hung up with her I shoved all my clothes under my bed. So I got downstairs and ripped my shirt out from under my bed and race off to work. When I saw my boss I apologized to him for being so late. He looked at me with a confused face and said, “Graham, you start tomorrow morning.” Perfect.
Hey Graham,You're hysterical! Your writing allowed me to envision you throughout the reading. Really good job!
Graham-I also found this humorous and can completely relate to what was happening. Loved it- especially the ending
I definitely got a kick out of this. My only suggestion is that you go back and check your grammar. You're missing some commas and stuff where your voice would break naturally while reading it. If you add these in, it may help you recognize these breaks while you're reading it on-air.
Graham, Excellent story, I had a similar tale back when I worked at Menards. Keep up the comedic stories they are a delight! As for what Tom said I agree there are so misplacements of commas here or there but overall a very solid story.Tom Purrazzo
Hahaha! Just like everyone else I found this to be really funny. I think the placement is a little weird. Im not sure why. But I like it a lot.
Tom MoranEssay-Leaving Home1:13Is there a more exciting day in your life than the day you leave for college? If you asked me, I’d have to say no. Ever since I can remember, I had this inner desire to just skip the rest of my childhood and wake up on move-in day. It’s not that I didn’t love my hometown or my friends and family, but going away to college is the summit I strived to reach during the long, confusing climb known as childhood. Through every stupid fight with a friend or family member, through every grounding, through all of the teen angst, all I could ever think about was, “Only three more years…only two more years…only one more year…” It’s as if arriving at college makes you a free man, and breaks the shackles from your ankles. You’re a new person, and you’re starting from scratch. I mean, is there really anything better than that?However, the day I left home I woke up sort of sad. When we left the house, we drove past the park by my house where my friends and I screwed around for the last decade. We drove past my high school where I became the person I am today. We drove past my new ex-girlfriends house…(we broke up because we didn’t want to do long-distance). Although I never thought I’d say it, I was sad to leave. I had wanted nothing more in my entire life than to go to college, but when I finally did I was hesitant to do so. Suddenly, I just wanted things to stay the same…
Really good story. I cant personally relate to that because i still live at home but i know the feeling of just wanting to go because you feel like it will change things. I enjoyed reading this, and you added just enough personal stuff to help us relate but not to much were we felt we were watching you. you made us part of it. nice job man.
Tom - Interesting to be reading this from your perspective (read my post!). I have to be honest with you and tell you that I find great comfort now in knowing that most college bound students feel the way you do. It's a bittersweet moment for everyone. Love your ending.
Tom- I also enjoyed reading this post, I found your use of emotion to really work. I understood exactly where you were coming from and why.
Tom I can tell your a journalism major! It was a sort of remorseful story but insightful. Thanks for the read.Tommy P
When i read this aloud it sounds a little choppy. Im not sure if its just the way I am reading it. Its an interesting story but I just think it reads funny.
Ashley SorgeaEssay - Coming Home At Midnight1:01Have you ever gotten lost? I myself am an expert at it. I can get lost going to places I have been to several times over to which you would think that I could never achieve such a feat. One of the worst times I can recall is actually an amazing story considering how big of a St. Louis Blues fan I am. It was game night and I had tickets, and planned to take a younger cousin with me. I of course was driving. now I have been going and coming back from the rink in the Lou for god knows how long and if I have ever been lost in St. Louis i have been able to find my way home just by finding the good ol' Keil center. well this particular night did not go that way. I ended up getting on the wrong high way headed the opposite direction with out even realizing it. We were further in Missouri by the time I realized I had no idea where we were at. I had to find a gas station to refuel and buy a cell phone charger because of course the one time I actually need my phone its dead. Eventually by some form of a miracle and lots and lots of extra time in the car I made it home by retracing my "steps" back to the Arch and getting on the right highway this time. Since then I have never failed to double, triple, and even quadruple check my surroundings to make sure I know exactly where I am at.
Ashley-I do like your story! However I do feel as though it isn't quite written for the ear. It might have been the way you used the past tense? Other then that I did enjoy it.
Hi Ashley,Great detail in describing your adventure! I think the run-on sentences are what makes Devin feel it wasn't written for the ear. I'm wondering if breaking those sentences up may help it to flow better - and to sound more 'conversational'. You captured the feeling of being lost!
It's a good story, but you may want to edit some of your sentence structures. As Gail said, you have some awkwardly phrased sentence/run-ons. Also, you may want to go back and add some commas in where your voice would break naturally while reading it on-air.
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I dont know. I feel like it just depends on the way you read it. When I read it aloud it sounded fine to me...
I agree with devin on this one. try and write it like you are talking to someone
You’ve heard people say it was like nothing you’ve ever experienced. Well, this was like nothing I’ve ever experienced. It literally took my breath away. The darkness was deafening. I needed to crack the window open for air. The absence of light intensified my feelings. The quiet was all too much. I’m sure I drove her crazy. She told me I did. I told her to equate my feelings with getting a new puppy. I asked her to imagine assuming responsibility for that puppy from the moment you bring it home. You love, nurture and protect it. Then, suddenly; it leaves you. Can you imagine just letting it go?There is just something about knowing that my little girl wouldn’t be sleeping at home in her bed that made me very uncomfortable. And I thought her first slumber party was bad. If I only knew then. This time has come all too quickly and I’m not quite ready for this. Our loyal group of 4 would temporarily become 3. Although we were happy for her, it was just strange to imagine her not being around. I knew this was an unsettling moment for her brother as well. He told me the morning of her departure that he didn’t think she should go. My mind was drawn to the memory of observing him watch over her from the moment she was born. The seventeen months between them was like glue. He would peek into her crib daily, waiting for her to wake up and play. They were each others first best friend. He assumed the role of protector at age 10 and relinquishing this role was not something he was ready to do.I thank God it’s a 40 minute drive, and not a plane ride away. Thank God for texting. My baby is leaving home.
Gail-I actually find this very interesting, like you said I wrote more about the factual aspect where as you wrote about emotional aspect. The way you wrote this makes me feel as though I understand where you are coming from, even though I was the one to leave home in my situation!
I like your perspective on your child leaving home as a mother. You may want to add in some info though like how old she is to put it into perspective for the listener.
I agree with Tom, I did not realize until the end that she was a little bit older. But its still very nice to read.
Devin RadosEssay- “Leaving Home”1:01 I’ve always looked forward to the day I was able to leave home and move into my own dorm room, until I realized how much stuff I actually had to bring along with me. I know this sounds extremely materialistic, but seriously. I filled up my entire CRV, as well as the majority of my mom’s truck. That’s not even half of it either. I had an entire closet full of clothes as well other miscellaneous items. It didn’t even look like I had left my parents home. Once I actually got to my dorm. I didn’t fill up just one elevator, not even two. I filled up THREE ENTIRE elevators. It took almost 20 resident assistants as well as myself, my brother, and my mom almost an hour to move all my stuff into my room on the 15th floor and then another 3 to 4 hours to unpack everything. I wasn’t even the only one living in that room, Abbie was supposed to move in later that day. Absolutely no one would guess she was just like me. The amount of stuff we somehow crammed into that little dorm room is completely insane. I’m not sure how we managed it. After living there for the entire school year and acquiring even more stuff you can just imagine how move out day went.
I have seen some very inventive ways of getting a lot of stuff into a dorm. The only thing that I see is that the only end of sentence punctuation is a period and I feel like it is read with a few more exclamation points.
Hi Devin,Your piece is written with great description of the process of leaving home. I found it to be so interesting that you wrote from the factual perspective, while I chose the emotional perspective. You honestly left me wondering how you felt - typical of me to find the emotion again.
Keep it up everyone! Look for signs of "writing for the ear!" AND - help each other out with grammar issues when you see them. Is everyone TELLING A STORY - not "writing a story to be read!" Please keep sending people comments. Thanks
Tom Purrazzo“Leaving Home”1 minute Me: You know, I used to be a morning person. But as I get older I feel it’s harder to get moving in the a.m. Working at a golf course was always a challenge for me, but you can’t beat free golf. On the contrary, opening the course in the morning was a very tranquil time. I would roll down the long wooded drive entering the golf course and it would still be pitch black, but the birds would be starting their day. You can hear the quiet chatter of the different species chirping away and you know it is about 5 am. I park my car and see “Old man” Jim, who had been with the golf course since it opened in 1967. We throw mindless banter back and forth before we commence in the trite routine of setting up a golf outing. My favorite part of the morning was yet to coming though, when the sun rises from the west with it’s beautiful warm tones. I love it. I have always loved sunsets. There is just something poetic about them. It could be that I am heavily inebriated every time I gander at one but man oh man do they just bring life to my eyes. Working at that golf course had it’s perks, free booze, free golf, free equipment, hell one time I even got an extra set of clubs, but the sunsets, those were the best perk about that job. Call me sentimental, call me soft, I could care less.
Its a nice story but when reading it aloud the descriptive words start to make it hard for me to say in a steady pace. Maybe its just because Im not used to your vocabulary. It sounds like you have a good time there though and everyone can use a little more peace in life!
As you are driving into work you stop at a stop sign. You look to your left to see a bicycle about two feet off the ground. The bicycle is painted white and it is permanently attached to the ground. This bike is covered in flowers, teddy bears and other memorabilia. This bike is part of a program called ghost bike Chicago. These bikes were once owned by people and are now placed at the site of their death to offer awareness of the importance of bike safety. This specific bike once was owned by a young girl named Katie. She was eight years old. She was excited by life and could not wait to grow up. She loved to play outside and her favorite activity was riding her bike down the street. Her parents though that if she stayed close to home she did not need her helmet. They were wrong. Do not let your children fall victim to this tragedy. Please, make sure that your child has a helmet that fits correctly, and that you do to. Do not let Katie's death go without meaning. Keep your children safe. Chicago doesn't need another ghost bike, but your family needs each other.
Jill- I do like the way you've set up the scene, although I didn't get the feeling this was a "wear your helmet" PSA.
JIll I thought I thought this was more of an awareness campaign for drivers to be aware of bicyclist around the city. Maybe start with the story of Katie and her story and then talk about the bikes around the city. End with something like, "Don't let some one take your bike away from you, hold on and live." Or something of that nature. Other than that very sad and emotional, as it is suppose to be!
Good work, but you should add a website at the end of it to offer listeners an outlet to get more information or information on how to help.
Great work, I really imagined myself in this story while reading it, but I agree with Tom, you need to end by telling the person what they need to do and where to do it. Remember to hit them in the heart and then call to action.
Devin RadosPSA-Bicycle Helmets Save Lives:57 So your children wont wear that bicycle helmet you’ve bought for them? Being responsible is part of growing up. Remind them how important their safety is to you and get out there and ride along side your children and wear your helmet too! Practice what you preach, children look up to their parents as role models and will more likely do as you say if you’re doing it too! Truth is, each year nearly 70,000 bicyclists suffer serious head injuries, not all recover. A helmet may not prevent an accident but it can lower the chances of obtaining a serious brain injury. We all want our children to grow up healthy. Encourage your children to be safe and to always wear a helmet.This is a message from W-C-R-X Radio and the National Wear your Helmet to Work Day.
Nice call to action at the end. The spot seemed more light hearted but still with a point that was meant to be made. Overall nice job!
i think if you added a littler more seriousness to it because it is a serious topic that it would get exactly what you wanted across
Tom PurrazzoBicycle Safety1 minuteYoung man: When I first started riding my bike in the city I thought I was invisible. All drivers would yield to me. I always had the right away and stop lights weren’t always a mandatory thing. I thought helmets where tacky. They ruined my hair and when I would get to where I was going I had to run to the bathroom right away and salvage what style I had left. That was my mentality until I got blind sided by a dump truck. If it wasn’t for the forks on the front of the truck that lift the dumpsters I would have been trash. The truck’s fork went straight through my wheels sliding me sideways into the hood. I wasn’t wearing my helmet and my head shattered into the windshield. The driver said my head made a crushing sound when it hit the glass. He said he threw up afterwards because he couldn’t get the image out of his head. Now instead of riding my bike around town I ride my wheelchair. Don’t ruin your life just for the sake of your hairstyle. I learned the hard way, you shouldn’t. Please wear your helmet, it will save your life.
Tom- (I don't know if my first comment went through since I can't find it on here) I really enjoyed this though. I think it was extremely sincere/ successful.
Thank you Devin. Ya it disappeared but heres this one! Thank you for the feedback
I like this a lot. It reminds me of the electric safety PSAs it really catches your attention.
Graham BernerPSA 2 Car Seats1:01 As a parent you would do anything to make sure that your child is safe. You make sure the food they eat is just right. You check on them at all times to make sure your child is okay. You put them in a car seat every time they are in the car with you. But do you know the proper way to put your child in a car seat? Does it really matter? Yes, yes it does. It is extremely important to know how to use a car seat for your child properly. If your child is a year old or older and weigh twenty pounds they should be in a car seat facing the rear of the car. Only after the child has passed their first birthday and exceed twenty pound in weight is it okay for them to be in a forward facing car seat. And lastly any child over forty pounds should be placed in a booster seat until they are at least eight years old. Keeping your child safe is one of the most important things in your life. So the next time your in your car with your child, make sure you have them in the proper car seat and always remember to buckle up.
Graham- just a few grammatical errors I found, If your child is one year or older* (I just felt one year old or older felt strange to say), weighs*, exceeds*, pounds*, I do believe you did get the point across though! good job!
I feel like there is a lot of information to take in and memorize in a short amount of time especially if you are not focusing on the PSA.
Lady’s voice: Car crashes are the number one killer of children 1 to 12 years old in the United States. The best way to protect your child in the car is to put them in the right seat, at the right time, and use it the right way. Imagine putting your baby in the car seat for the first time. Did you buy the correct seat? Are you sure you know all the precautions? Are the harness straps in the right position and tight? Is the seat belt connected through the right path? Is the car seat in the pathway of an airbag? One place you should never put a car seat is on the front seat, no matter how tempting it is to keep your child by your side. If there's an accident (even if it's minor), the passenger-side airbag could open up and seriously injure your baby. In fact, all kids, until they're about 13 or so, belong in the backseat. Know these things before guessing them. I am sure you wouldn’t want your child on the street after a minor car accident. Get the right equipment and instructions. For more information call 1-800- Car Safe. You can replace a car, but you can’t replace a baby.
Andrew-This was full of information, which is good but almost overwhelming to my ear. I can't remember everything being said.
Andrew I felt this was more of an article piece then anything. I would tweak somethings and go at it agian from another angle. Paint the picture ya know my dood? and yes, I spelled DUDE, DOOD. It's just how I do things.
I feel like the last line of this is weird. It brings a negative condensation I would consider revising it.
Almost everyone has taken a nasty spill on a bike before, and as a matter of fact, nearly 70,000 bicyclists suffer serious head injuries every year. Don’t become a statistic. Just wear your helmet! It may look dorky, but looking dorky is much better than receiving a serious brain injury. While the most concerning aspect of a head injury is of course your health, don’t forget the financial woes that these injuries bring. The medical costs necessary to deal with head injuries are staggering, and the cost of a helmet is just a drop in the bucket comparatively. Save your brain, and your fortune, and strap on that helmet! Statistically, three out of four brain injuries can be prevented by wearing a helmet. That’s a pretty solid success rate, so why even take the chance?TEEN: Because I’ll look dorky! Helmets look so lame…What’ll look even lamer is walking around with a permanent helmet on because you wouldn’t wear one to the arcade. Looking cool isn’t as important as safety. Use your head, and strap on a helmet! For more information, go to bhsi.org. This has been a public service announcement brought to you by WCRX 88.1 FM Chicago.
Tom- I enjoyed the first part of this PSA very much but felt the second part wasn't needed at all. I think the "why even take the chance?" is a strong ending and leaves the listener wondering !
I agree with Devin the Second portion seems a little unnecessary. It just seems out of place.
I'm really having a hard time thinking about this commercial with a radio perspective -I'm much more of a visual person. I want to create this for TV since I feel like it'd come across easier but I figured I'd get it out of the way and get the first draft out of the way here's my first try...I'm kinda going for that hand done nature DIY theme.. having a hard time creating it for radio.. I NEED SOME IDEAS ON HOW TO RUN WITH THIS PLEASE!Devin RadosCommercial- Civic Duty Shoes(A hand illustrated bear - wearing Civic Duty Shoes - speaking with an upbeat younger voice): (SFX: Nature sounds behind entire commercial) Civic Duty Shoes- The ORIGINAL innovator of Tyvek fashion footwear. Tyvek is nearly indestructible, fully recyclable, and 100 percent fashion forward. So popular that other brands are already using our same concept! “Conspire to Inspire” and grab yourself a pair of Civic Duty Shoes!
Devin,Do a bear noise, then have the bear introduce himself with either a sincere soft voice or a rough and tough voice. "Hi I am Teddy the Bear" blah blah blah. Throw some creative lines like, "When I am hiking through the woods to the river bed these shoes blah blah blah blah blah." You could make it work. I think it would be really creative to.
Thank you thank you thank you, I knew there were ways to do it. I just couldn't think of anything at all such a mind block- i was only thinking visually unfortunately. Ill try those and see where it takes me!
As for the nature sounds in the back ground you could always have birds chirping and leaves rustling I just would not add in to much.
V.O and a second voice of a squeaky voiced man: V.O: Civic Duty Shoes!Squeaky: Like hanging out in the rain? Their waterproof!V.O: Civic Duty Shoes!Squeaky: Made from fully recyclable goods!V.O: Civic Duty Shoes! Squeaky: Their extremely light weight, making you extremely fast!V.O: Civic Duty Shoes!Squeaky: Don’t wanna be fast, its ok breath These shoes are breathable!V.O: Civic Duty Shoes!Squeaky: Tyvek Soles!V.O: Civic.... What whats that?Squeaky: flashspun high-density polyethylene fibers, a synthetic material; The material is very strong; It’s practically indestructible!V.O: (intrigued and impressed) Wow, Civic Duty shoes!Civic Duty Shoes: Ya so check us out at w-w-w-dot Civic duty shoes dot com. V.O: Civic Duty Shoes! “Conspire to inspire”
I think this is a great idea. the listeners will definitely remember the name of this company and all the info was given in a way where it wasn't overwhelming!
You definitely did a good job getting the name across. Remember that it is "they're" not "their". Maybe you'll consider cutting out that it is flashspun high density polyethylene fiber. If you just say that Tyvek is extremely durable, blah blah blah, it gets the same point across without spitting out scientific stuff that people don't care about.
The only thing I would revise in this would be the "Their extremely light weight, making you extremely fast!" I would use a little bit more diversification in my word choice.
Fashionable and Durable. That's the combination created when you buy civic duty shoes. Bright colors with yellows greens and vibrant blues. Not to forget the originals such as browns and blacks to match any outfit. These fun styles show off your originality. These shoes are original because of the Tyek material, which allows the shows to be durable yet comfortable. Not to mention you can feel good about buying this product because all proceeds go to nonprofit organizations. Be fashionable, durable, and original. Visit us at civicdutyshoes.com
I think it was an interesting take on it but i got lost in the colors and thats what i remember most not the details of the material!
Who is talking during this commercial? It seemed like a testimonial if I am correct but I felt there was no life behind it. I feel if you give the person more character it will bring the copy more to life.
You got the right information across, but it seems a little too straight forward. There may be better and more attention-grabbing ways to convey this information
(Crowd Cheering)Radio Reporter: AND HERE HE IS…HE’S WALKED ALL THE WAY FROM AUGUSTA, MAINE TO CROSS THE FINISH LINE HERE IN, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA...PAUL STEVENS! PAUL, HOW WERE YOU ABLE TO WALK SO FAR? AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, HOW MANY PAIRS OF SHOES DID YOU GO THROUGH? (Laughs)Paul: Actually, only one pair!Radio Reporter: Unbelievable!Paul: I’m wearing the innovator of Tyvek footware, Civic Duty Shoes. Tyvek is a breathable, light-weight, water-resistant material. These shoes are nearly indestructible! How could I walk cross-country with them if they weren’t?V.O: Civic Duty Shoes can be found at civicdutyshoes.com. Civic Duty Shoes…Conspire to Inspire…
I think this is an interesting way of getting the info across. I would've never thought of this. Good job!
Excellent Tom, subliminal but yet gets the point across. Thanks for the description at the beginning of the spot. This helped me imagine even more so what was going on.
I like this its something that people would want to listen to and not something that people would just turn the dial for. I like it a lot.
Tom PurrazzoBicycle Safety Revised1 minute 24 year old man: When I first started riding my bike in the city I thought I was invisible. All drivers would yield to me. I always had the right away and stoplights weren’t always a mandatory thing. I thought helmets where tacky. They ruined my hair and when I would get to where I was going I had to run to the bathroom right away and salvage what style I had left. That was my mentality until I got blind sided by a dump truck. If it weren’t for the forks on the front of the truck that lift the dumpsters I would have been trash. The truck’s fork went straight through my wheels sliding me sideways into the hood. I wasn’t wearing my helmet and my head shattered into the windshield. The driver said my head made a crushing sound when it hit the glass. This was a life changing experience that I will never forget. Now instead of riding my bike around town I ride my wheelchair. Please, don’t ruin your life just for the sake of your “reputation.” I learned the hard way, you shouldn’t. Please wear your helmet, it will save your life.
Definitely very original and it is a good testimonial. It seems like the fact that the fork lift slid through his tires though seems a bit unrealistic. Maybe he could have just got hit by a car? I really liked the way you got the information across though.
I agree with Tom, you had a lot of good word choices when it comes images, but it all doesn't add up just right.
Devin RadosPSA-Carseat Safety REVISED!:60this one i was having problems not just rambling off all the info.. i think i condensed it well enough, its just more informational than emotionally appealing(SFX: Car crashing/ Children crying) MOTHERLY WOMANS VOICE: Our children’s safety should be top priority. Car accidents are still the top leading cause of children’s death. Young children should be in car or booster seats until old enough to sit regularly. Reports show that 80% of kids are not properly secured in their seats and therefore still unsafe. Mistakes are easily avoidable. Once you have the right car seat, you must know how to properly secure it. Follow the directions that come with the car seat carefully to make sure everything is secure and that your child will remain safe. The seatbelt must be properly locked. Newer seat belt systems have these locking mechanisms built in. Make sure the seat belt is tight enough and never place an infant seat in the path of an air bag. Everyone deserves the chance to grow up. Please keep our children’s safety in mind and always correctly secure car seats. This is a message from W-C-R-X Radio and the National Transportation Association
This is still a little wordy. For instance when you say "Reports show that 80% of kids are not properly secured in their seats and therefore still unsafe." Maybe instead you can say 80% of children are in danger because they are not properly secured in their seats
Hey everyone. Reminder. Redrafted commercial is due at end of day Weds. Consider the notes, let me know if you have any questions or want to run something by me. Remember, those chosen will be produced in placed in the Best New Ad contest. FYI - if you have not sent your FIRST DRAFT on the commercial, I cannot give you credit for the work at this time. It's several days late. But you will have to have for portfolio and if you wan any credit, I will have to have a final draft end of day Wednesday, AND - new assignment will be up late Weds on Oasis. Thanks of your comments here; some have been very good. David
Tom MoranCommercial-Civic Duty Shoes-REVISED:30(CROWD CHEERING THROUGHOUT SCRIPT)Radio Reporter: And here he is…He’s walked across America from Augusta, Maine to cross the finish line here in Los Angeles, California…Paul Stevens! Paul, how were you able to walk so far? And more importantly, how many pairs of shoes did you go through? (Laughs)Paul: Actually, only one pair!Radio Reporter: UNBELIEVABLE!Paul: Believe it, because I’m wearing Civic Duty Shoes! Civic Duty is the innovator of Tyvek footware. Tyvek is a breathable, light-weight, water-resistant material. They’re the most durable shoes you’ll ever wear! Shoe speaks in deep voice: He’s right, but sometimes I wish I wasn’t so durable, I’m exhausted!V.O: Civic Duty Shoes can be found at civicdutyshoes.com. Civic Duty Shoes…Conspire to Inspire…
Would this be a sort of funny commercial or a serious commercial?
Hey guys, let me know what you think of this spot for Civic Duty Shoes. I revised it a couple of times and I am wondering if the voices work. Let me know what you think. Thanks,Tom PV.O of a Burly Man, second voice of the SHOE which sounds like the Shaft Character V.O: Civic Duty Shoes! Shoe: You like hanging out in the rain? I don’t mind it, hey there Im a Civic Duty shoe and I am waterproof!V.O: Civic Duty Shoes!Shoe: I’m made from fully recyclable goods!V.O: Civic Duty Shoes! Shoe: I’m extremely light weight, making YOU extremely light!V.O: Civic Duty Shoes!Shoe: Don’t wanna be fast, its ok breath I’M breathable!V.O: Civic Duty Shoes!Shoe: I’ve got Tyvek Soles!V.O: Civic.... What what’s that?Shoe: I’m Flashspun high-density polyethylene fibers, a synthetic material; My material is very strong; Heck I am practically indestructible!V.O: (intrigued and impressed) Wow, Civic Duty shoes!Shoe: Ya so check me out at w-w-w-dot Civic duty shoes dot com. V.O: Civic Duty Shoes! “Conspire to inspire”
I like this, I think it would be very funny.
Graham BernerCivic Duty Shoes “Sarah’s Shoes”0:30 Sarah’s Shoes: Hey Kelly’s shoes! What’s wrong? You don’t look so good? Kevin’s Shoes: I’m not holding together real well. That walk Kelly and I were just on was so long that I’m falling apart. How are you so lucky to be holding up so well? Sarah’s Shoes: Well, Sarah bought Me, a pair of Civic Duty Shoes, which are made from this awesome material called “Tyvek”. This amazing material holds up longer than regular shoe material. Also, nowadays everything is about going green, and guess what? I’m recyclable, water resistant, and they are very breathable so your feet are as cool as I look. Kevin’s Shoes: Wow! You ARE amazing! Where can I get a pair of them? Sarah’s Shoes: Just tell Kevin go to, www.CivicDutyShoes.com. They have tons of different kinds of shoes in a huge array of sizes! Oh, and sorry but your not my type.ANNCR: Civic Duty Shoes, Conspire To Inspire.
I dont quite see how the last line "oh, and sorry but your not my type" fits in with the rest of it?
IntroGraham Berner0:35 Today in the studio we have Director Ridley Scott fresh off his new movie “Prometheus” starring Noomi Rapace and Michael Fassbender. Prometheus is about a crew of astronauts off on a mission to a distant world hoping to find answers to human existence but instead find something that could end the human race, as we know it. In the box office it has made almost 90 million dollars in less than two weeks. So Mr. Scott, your known for movies that have some real history to them like Gladiator and Black Hawk Down, but this movie, Prometheus, is a sci-fi kind of movie. What made you want to be apart of this movie?
I understand wanting to create interest with questions to Ridley Scott but the way I read the directions we were supposed to be intro-ing the already recorded entertainment program for the movie Prometheus, which sent out scientific research group, not astronauts to have their questions of the human race answered, its the whole premise of the movie. I may be wrong, but I would definitely go back and look up a little bit more about the movie or go and see it. Its really really good! and you'll have lots to talk about for the intro!
I feel like the amount of money the movie has made so far doesn't quite fit with the rest of this intro.
So the high cost of college is a hot topic. You need a degree to make the money, but you need big money to pay for that degree. Its a vicious cycle! But, there are some interesting ways to pay for these high costs. No, we are not talking about loans and grants we are talking about people who think outside the box to help with these costs. For instance there is a school in Iowa, where if you wake up at four am to help milk the cows and clean the barns, you get a big tuition break. Call in with your creative tuition paying tips coming up after the break!
I really really like your take on the interesting ways students can get tuition breaks, I'd add a little more details just for the callers who don't really know about these, I personally have never heard of these!
Devin RadosSet up- Intros: Prometheus0:47This is Entertainment Live and I am Gregory O’Conner from Chicago, Illinois. This morning we’ve been hearing a lot of hype surrounding the new hit movie, Prometheus!Ridley Scott, the director of Alien and Blade Runner, returns to the genre he helped define. In the prequel to his 1979 hit Alien, Prometheus --set in the 21st century-- centers around a scientific, research group as they make their journey in to space to discover the origins of human life. Lead researchers Elizabeth Shaw and Charlie Holloway -- played by Naomi Rapace and Logan Marshall-Green-- are convinced the discovered glyphs of several ancient Earth Cultures--containing the same star maps-- are signs, or what they consider to be an invitation, to discover a distant world that will provide them with valuable answers about the beginning of mankind. They instead discover a threat that could cause the extinction of the human race completely.
There is a lot of breaks and commas in here and so when i read this aloud it sounds sort of choppy.
Tom Purrazzo Billy Corgan Set-up45 secAlright folks and we are back. I am of course your host Tommy Guns Purrazz here on WSTM your very own Rock and Roll Archive. So, the guy I am about to introduce got his legs in the early 90’s, lead a tremendous career and is now in Chicago to have a release party. The first one in about half a decade. You know a little band called “The Smashing Pumpkins”? Well the lead singer, Billy Corgan is about to sit down with me today to talk about his career, the up’s and downs, his feelings on bands in the industry and inspiration that pushed him along his path through Rock and Roll. With an intimate record release about to take place on Lake Michigan, I introduce to you Billy Corgan of the “Smashing Pumpkins.
I like the way that this is worded, its not to much but it keeps you interested.
July 2012 is going to be a budget breaker for movie lovers worldwide. With big blockbusters like The Amazing Spiderman premiering July 3rd and The Dark Knight premiering July 20th, it’s looking like Hollywood’s wallet is going to be thicker than ever next month. However, while waiting in anticipation for July’s big releases, don’t forget about the blockbuster that defined this month, Prometheus, which came out June 3rd and has raked in $141 million thus far. It’s easy to see why Prometheus, starring Noomi Rapace and Michael Fassbender, has proved to be one of the biggest films of the summer. Prometheus was able stir major hype with its eerie, jaw dropping trailers it aired for weeks on end in the spring, and who doesn’t love a great sci-fi adventure? In the film, a crew traveling through space in the late 21st century seeks the origins of humanity, but ends up discovering a threat that would cause the extinction of the human race. Here’s Jack Morrison with more on Prometheus…
There are a lot of numbers in here, it just sounds odd to me. Im not sure why.
Writing for Radio Graham BernerComedy SkitMedical Marijuana“The Pot Doc” Mary – Straight laced doctor, oblivious to her nameKathy – regular thirty-year-old womenMark – Mid 40’s family manDom – Classic stoner 2:30Receptionist – The doctor will see you now.Mary – Hello, um, Kathy, my name is doctor Mary Jane and how are you today?Kathy – I’m okay. I’ve got this ingrown hair on my leg and I wanted you to look at it.Mary – Well of course, lets see it. Hmmm. Does it hurt if I touch here? No? Hmm. Well Kathy, I see this kind of thing all the time, it’s not really a big deal. I’m going to prescribe you Medical Marijuana. I want you to medicate six times a day for two months. If it doesn’t clear up by then, just call and set up another appointment, okay?Kathy – Um, are you sure? It’s just an ingrown hair.Mary – Trust me, I’m a doctor. Thanks for coming in, hope to, not, see you soon. (Chuckles to herself at her own joke as she leaves the room. Door shuts. Door opens.) Mary – Hey there Mark. What brings you in today? (Door shuts)Mark – Well. This is kinda awkward but I haven’t had a bowl movement in about a week and I was hoping I could get something to help with that. It’s starting to cause a problem.Mary – That’s a perfectly normal thing to happen to your body Mark. I’m going to have you smoke three joints a day until you have a normal bowl movement. Mark – You’re joking right? You want me to smoke pot so that I can have a bowl movement? I know I’m not a doctor but that doesn’t seem to add up.Mary – Yes Mark, you are not a doctor, that’s why you came to me silly. (Giggles) Say hi to the wife and kids for me okay? Thanks for coming in.(Door shuts)Mary – Hi there, I’m doctor Mary Jane.Dom – Wait a second man, you’re name is, Mary Jane? Hahaha oh man I’m freaking out man.Mary – Ok? What can I help you with today?Dom – Well, Mary, (holding back giggles) Jane, I get these headaches, and I heard that, wait, no, I have back pain, yea that’s it back pain. The pain doc the pain! I cant sleep because of the pain. You think you could, prescribe me something, Mary Jane? Mary – Ohhh. I see. Yes Dom I know exactly what you need. (Pause) I want you to go home and take two aspirin and get a good nights rest. Thanks for coming in and have a great day. Dom – Huh? Wait a second man, Mary Jane! Wait I’m confused man, I was hoping for some pot man, what the hell is this man. (Ramble on into a fade)
Very funny. Remember to spell bowl as bowel. Also, you may want to label your sound effects as SFX: to make it clearer
This is funny. But are you allowed to do something like this on the radio?
Tom Purrazzo Comedy Skit3 minutesThe Car oopsy. Rough.Radio talk show two main hosts with one guy who will chime in randomly. Brian- Telling the storyJohn- Listening and making fun ofDexter- making obnoxious comments randomly.Jon- Alright guys so this is the part of our show where Brian, Dexter, or me share an embarrassing story where we one way or another were in the wrong and made well, an oopsy. So Brian I believe you have the oopsy this week right?Brian- Ya Jon I do. So this little slip up happened about three days ago. I was driving and as you know I absolutely hate when people drive like complete jagaloons. Dexter- Jagaloons huh Brian? Hahaha.Brian- Ya shut up Dexter, your one of them. Jon- ohhhh ahah harsh. Brian- Anyways so I am driving and its a 45 mile per hour speed limit area and it is roughly three thirty in the afternoon. Jon- okBrian- So the driver in front of me is going unbelievably slow man, I mean this driver was rolling down the street at about twenty five miles per hour. I was just shocked. I mean for a good three miles me and about six other cars where stuck behind this person. Jon- So be honest with me where you yelling and swearing. We can’t say what you said on the air but substitute the swear words with something. Brian- Ya I was swearing but it wasn’t so bad until the wagon cruising Astronaut slowed down even more so during the last mile. That’s when I lost it. Dexter- What happened?Brian- So we finally get to the light and I am swearing up and down. I get the nerve to get out of the car. I walk up to the car screaming and I utter the words, “I hope you rot in hell you flipping branisouras rex! The person sticks their head of the vechile in horror. Jon- So....Brian- The person was a ninety four year old NUN! Jon- hahahahahahahahahDexter- You told her to rot in hell you sick-o?Brian- Ya....... Ahahah. When I walked back to my car everyone in the cars behind me where clapping thinking that justice was served, but I think when they saw the look on my face.Jon- ahaha They knew them and you were the ones gonna be rotting in hell. Brian- Well OOOPS!Dexter- Priceless.
There are a lot of "so"s in this. I think this is very funny but I think it would be better with a little more word variation.
Tom MoranComedy Skit-Dream Reader2:00SFX: Door opens and shutsJohn: Hi, Doc. Doctor: Hey John! It’s nice to meet you. Take a seat.SFX: Footsteps. John sits downDoctor: So John, what do you want me to do for you?John: Well, I’ve been having this strange dream lately and I hear that you specialize in helping define what dreams mean. A friend of my said you practically predicted her future with one of her reoccurring dreams. It’s a really, really strange one too. I wake up and a cat walks between my legs and I start following it around my house trying to pet it, which is strange because I hate cats, and the cat just keeps walking away and staying just out of reach of my hand. The cat then walks through my door and I follow it outside. Then, I start hearing opera music playing down the street and the cat bolts towards the music. I follow it and end up finding that it’s a little kid, no older the five years old, standing there playing opera off of an old turntable. When I ask him where his parents are, he says that I’m his father and kicks me in the shin. Then I wake up. I have this dream almost twice a week now.Doctor: Wow. Well, don’t worry, it’s not the strangest dream I’ve heard. Trust me. However, it appears you may have some underlying problems you may need to face.John: Like what?Doctor: Well typically, cats represent bad luck. You know, the whole black cat crossing your path thing? Is it black?John: Yes…Doctor: Ok, well typically when a black cat walks between your legs in a dream, it means you’ll get hit by a bus in the near future. John: I’ll get hit by a bus?Doctor: Yes. You’ll get hit by a bus. I’ve never had a client who dreamed about a black cat walking between his legs that didn’t eventually get hit by a bus. John: Ok…(skeptically)Doctor: And you said that a little kid who was playing opera claimed to be your son and then kicks you in the shin?John: Yes.Doctor: Well, typically when you hear opera being played loudly off of an old turntable, it means you’re going to have a bad interaction with an ex-con. It’s the Shawshank affect. And the little kid who claims to be your son and kicks you in the shin may mean that you’re going to have a bad experience with a little kid soon. I don’t know.John: Ok…thanks. I think I’ve heard all I need to hear. SFX: John stands up and walks outDoctor: Come back soon!John: (Whispered) Don’t worry, I won’t crazy lady! Geeze, why did I think that was a good idea. She’s out of her mind. Ex-Con: HEY! WHATCHU GOT?! SFX: PUNCHES, YELPS FOR HELP, SCUFFLING. SOUND OF KID APPROACHING AND GIGGLINGJohn: Hey! Give me back my wallet and keys! AGHHH. Hey kid, can you help me get out of the street?Kid: Hehehehe.SFX: Kid kicks John. John yelps.John: Aghhh, why’d you just kick me kid! Get out of here! Oh God…it’s a bus…SFX: Bus horn blares
I think that this is very funny the only thing I would change is the wording of the line "Don’t worry, I won’t crazy lady! Geeze, why did I think that was a good idea. She’s out of her mind."
I think it's interesting, but very predictable at the end!
Devin RadosComedy Skit1:55The Characters: Salesman behind counter - Wendall ;Customer- Scott; The Scene:An everything-in-one kind of store such as a Bed Bath & Beyond:'Things You Get A Lot';Scott wanders into ‘Things You Get A Lot’, looking for a variety of mismatched items, Scott also has a tendency to mispronounce everyday items-an annoying feature- Wendall is there to assist him in his awkward endeavors.SFX: Normal busy store noise- people talking/ cash registers ringingSFX: Scott whistling a silly tuneSCOTT:Hello, hello!.....eh... Wendall?WENDALL:That is my name! Good afternoon sir, and welcome to ‘Things You Get A Lot’- the store with everything you need, when you need it! May I help you find anything specific..eh..sir?SCOTT:Oh goodness. You may call me Scott, I have a list as long as my arm.WENDALL:Well let us get started then! SCOTT:Well, I need plenty of groceries, as well as a few items for the home.SFX: shuffling footstepsWENDALL:Well sir, houseware items are right over here.SCOTT:Great! I need 5 pell-ows.WENDALL:Eh?.. Sure! We have pillows around the corner.SCOTT:No sir, pellows.WENDALL:Pillows?SCOTT:No pellows, P-E-L-L-O-W-SWENDALL:Come again?SCOTT:I need 5 pellowsWENDALL:Oh, sir I really think you mean pillows. We sell pillows, not pellows here at ‘Things You Get A Lot’.There are no such things as pellows.SCOTT:I know what I’m talking about sir, I need pellows. WENDALL: Sor..SCOTT:(cutting Wendall off) The fluffy things, that we all put our heads on as we sleep at night. I need 5. Preferably down feaver.WENDALL:Excuse me? Down feaver?SCOTT: Yes... it’s the type of pellow I need. WENDALL:Oh.. well sir, again, we sell pillows here not pellows. Maybe we’ll have better luck in the grocery department?..SCOTT:Okay, The first thing I need is a bunch of birnehnurs.WENDALL: (mumbling under his breath): Dear God, why?!Sir, do you mean bananas?SCOTT:Oh yes! birnehmurs!WENDALL:(huffs) The BANANAS... are over here. Anything else?SCOTT:Yes, I need parterders.WENDALL: Potatoes?SCOTT:Parterders!WENDALL:Ugh, sir. I can’t stand much more of this. We sell pillows. We sell bananas. We sell potatoes. NOT pellows, birnehners, and parterders.SCOTT: I’m not understanding the difference.WENDALL:(louder and noticeably annoyed) Anything else sir?..SCOTT:Umm... I do need flour and butter...WENDALL:(under his breath) Thank goodn..SCOTT:(cutting off Wendall) OH! I also need melk!..WENDALL:(annoyed) UGH!..
I really like the pertaters part. I found this very humorous.
I really like this. The humor is obvious and funny for anyone.
Crash: Holy Cow, she grabbed the Leash, She grabbed the leash! She is totally going to take me for a walk! SHE GRABBED THE LEASH!Mallie: …Why did she grab his leash? Why didn’t she grab my leash? Ok ok… give her that look. Alright she grabbed my leash! SHE HAS MY LEASH! SHES OPENING THE DOOR!Crash: Did you see that? She has my leash AND she opened the door. Holy cow, she put my leash on! AHHH! We are going outside. When did we get all this grass? This must be new. I don’t remember all this grass. I have to sniff it all. Mallie, when did we get all this grass!?!Mallie: I don’t know, but we are outside and this is GREAT! Did you see that bush? It’s got leaves on it! I’m going to eat one, HOLY COW CRASH COME AND TRY THESE LEAVES they are delicious. Wait. I didn’t say to eat all of them. Those are my leaves…SFX: You hear two dogs fighting. Crash: I would have totally won that, but I gotta go. Why can’t a man just go? Why does she always have to watch me go? Yeah I’m going, doesn’t mean you have to stare. Yup as usual you are taking what I just got rid of. I just pushed that out and you pick it up. Real classy mom, HOLY COW THERE IS SOMEONE WALKING!Mallie: Hey! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! YOU! YOU ARE WALKING! WHY ARE YOU WALKING! HEY! HEY! IM OVER HERE! HEY WALKER! COME PET ME WALKER!Crash: HEYYYY! I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU CAN’T IGNORE ME IF I KEEP YELLING! WALKER! COME PET ME! NOW! Mallie: I think that they are gone.Crash: HEY! ARE YOU STILL THERE!!!!Mallie: They are gone… Im going to go sniff some more, seriously when did all this stuff get here! There was not nearly this many smells last time we came outside.Crash: Im going to sniff the tree. I think that there has been another dog here. I better pee on it just to be sure.Mallie: Ill pee on it to, just for good measure.Crash: SQUIRL!!!! Mallie: SQUIRL THIS IS OUR YARD! YOU GET OUT OF OUR YARD! THIS IS NOT YOUR YARD SQUIRL! Crash: YEAH YOU BETTER RUN! AND STAY AWAY FROM OUR TREE! Wait. Why does my neck hurt? What is happening?Mallie: My neck hurts to, why are we suddenly back by the door?Crash: Nooooo! We are not done!Mallie: There. Is. A. Ball! When did we get this ball?Crash: Hey, that’s my ball!Mallie: No Its my ball!SFX Dogs fightingMallie: That’s right, this is my ball.Crash: She will sleep soon… and when she does… THAT BALL WILL BE MINE!
Squirrel* I like the idea of 2 dogs fighting, but should the sound effect be dogs barking? and what type of voices do they have? i give them my own in my head which makes it funny... but if they're just 2 plain voices it could ruin the humor and it'd just be a fight.
Devin RadosNews: Shark Fin Ban0:25Governer Pat Quinn signed a law this Sunday, banning the sale, trade, and distribution of all shark fins.Shark fins are typically used in asian cuisine and the lawmakers who pushed for it have said Chicago’s Chinatown has been a hub for the sale of shark fins in the Midwest.Shedd Aquarium President and CEO Ted Beattie praised the ban and stated millions of sharks are killed each year only for their fins. The sharks are thrown back into the ocean after being harvested, left to bleed to death or drown on their own.
By ending your story with the statement about how horrible this is for the sharks, you're leaving a bigger, more shocking impression with the listener when the story ends. Nice.
I like this, it is phrased well and it flows nicely.
Tom MoranNews-Shark Fin Ban:25Governor Pat Quinn signed a bill Sunday banning the sale, trade, or distribution of shark fins. Quinn says the ban will aid global efforts to prevent the demise of shark populations, as Chicago’s Chinatown has been a hub for the sale of shark fins in the Midwest. Shark fins are often used in Asian cuisine, and when fishermen harvest the fins they typically just throw the shark back in the water to bleed to death or drown. Shedd Aquarium President and CEO Ted Beattie applauded the ban, the first of its kind for inland states.
I really like how you used the word demise. It added a whole new element of seriousness to the piece.
Tom PurrazzoNews- Heat wave:26Around 11:30am on Sunday Kane, Kendall, and DuPage county experienced a storm that was unlike anything Illinois has seen in a long time. According to The National Weather Service Sunday’s storms dropped temperatures by more than 20 degrees and clocked winds speeds up to 90 miles per hour, pulling trees from their roots and knocking down many power lines in the surrounding area. Commonwealth Edison says it could be several days to restore power to it’s 100 thousand customers in the area. A warm front is expected to move across the Chicagoland area today and Monday and could remain for sometime.
The only thing I would change is the sentence "20 degrees and clocked winds speeds up to 90 miles per hour" I would add in the word "it" before clocked, it would help it flow better.
Tom PurrazzoCommentary- Have a baby and your home for dinner1:00Remember the good old days when child labor involved the doctor getting calls in the middle of the night or having to stay late at the hospital for their patients sake? Well in today’s world it seems as though more doctors are opting for the fast track when it comes to delivering babies. It seems that Cesarean section’s are the new pink and natural labor is out. I understand that I am not a women but something about a precipitous labor doesn’t seem healthy to me. It seems to me that doctors are just getting greedy by feeding women drugs, such as Pitocin, to help speed up the child labor process. It is more convenient to have women go through a half hour of a C-section versus half a day of manual birth. It doesn’t seem healthy to me drugging my wife, let alone my soon to be son or daughter before their first breath. Why do doctors do this? To make room for the next patient to roll on in and shoot out another baby that’s why. It’s like when you go in for your oil change, thirty minutes or less (PAUSE) you get the picture. According to the Worldwide health Organization in the 90’s the percentage of women who had C-sections were at 4.5% in 2010 it climbed to 32.8%. Now here we are in 2012 and one out of three mothers have C-sections. It’s not because they are all having complicated births, it’s because the doctor utters the word, FAST and PAINLESS. Don’t you worry Doc, you’ll be home before dinner.
I did not know anything about this issue and I like the was you phrased this. This is something that I would stop and listen to.
Tom MoranCommentary-Global Warming1:30 Despite what the critics and naysayers may say, global warming is in fact quite real. It may be easy to say that the Earth goes through cycles of heating and cooling naturally, but research suggests that in just the past hundred and fifty years or so the Earth has experienced warming at rate we’ve never seen before. This isn’t surprising as our production of carbon gases increased exponentially after the Industrial Revolution began in the mid-nineteenth century. It was right around this time that the Earth began to experience changes at a rate we’d never seen before. For example, during the twentieth century the world sea levels rose about seven inches after two thousand years of relatively little change. The 1980s and 1990s were the hottest in over four hundred years, and the UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change has declared that eleven of the past twelve years are among the dozen warmest since 1850. This is already having a visible and non-disputable affect on our Earth. Numbers and statistics are one thing, but the real truth behind global warming’s existence is found in the declining populations of our polar bears. As the ice melts, their mortality rate rises. In 2008, the polar bear became the first animal to be added to the endangered species list because of global warming, and the US Geological Survey expects two-thirds of our polar bears to be gone by mid-century. While some data and research pertaining to global temperature trends may conflict with what I just listed, the fact of the matter is that our polar ice caps are melting too quickly to be explained any other way. Not to mention, CNN reported just today that the past year was the warmest for the US ever. This, on top of the fact that the past 3 decades have been the warmest for the US in over 400 years, makes it quite evident that our planet is warming, whether we want to believe it or not.
The only thing I would check is the fact that polar bears were the first animal to be added to the endangered species list because of global warming. According to Keith Kostecka (Environmental Science teacher at Columbia)There were several animals added to the list because of global warming before polar bears were.
Graham BernerRadio Commentary – Randy Blythe1:15The vocalist for American heavy metal band Lamb of God, Randy Blythe, is on trail for the death of a fan at a festival in Europe in May of 2010. Blythe is being tried for "Bodily harm of the fourth degree, resulting in the death of a fan". If convicted Blythe will face up to 10 years in prison. According to Blythe the fan had charged the stage multiple times during Lamb of God’s set. The security guards tried to stop the fan each time but the last time the fan got passed them and made his way onto the stage. At that point Blythe pushed the fan off the stage. The fan fell off the stage and hit their head, a little over a week later the fan passed away in the hospital from the injuries he suffered after falling off the stage. Blythe says it was self defense, he has also brought up the death of the late guitarist for Pantera, “Dimebag” Darell, who was killed by a fan that rushed the stage at a show. Blythe’s fans are able to sign a petition online to try and help Blythe come back to the states and stay out of jail. We will keep you updated on this developing story.
I think it would be nice if you had the name of the individual who passed away, it would add a more human element to the story.
Devin RadosDocumentary: Gang Violence1:30A chill is spreading as the sun is setting on an average Monday night in Chicago. A friend and I are walking home from a quiet dinner in a little restaurant, just off Racine and Taylor. People are out walking about, laughing and having fun. A noticeably cheerful little boy is riding his bike, while 2 other boys a little older than he was approach him. I looked away, returning to my conversation with my friend when I heard a gun shot. Quickly we looked in the direction it came from, we saw that once cheerful looking boy who was riding his bike, now on the floor in extreme pain from a gun shot wound, and those 2 boys running from the scene. People around us were frantically trying to figure out what happened as we heard the screeching tires of the get away car. It was a drive by. That little boy riding his bike was distracted by the 2 older boys as the car pulled around to shoot. The little boy was still alive when taken in an ambulance, but the scene had changed from a happy sunset to a dark and dreary street, fluttered with emergency lights and screaming sirens. Chicago’s gang violence has emerged with a bang this summer of 2012. The soaring heat adding to the irritability of people mixed in with the already infamous gang violence has made a recipe for destruction. Just a few weeks ago on June 27th, a 7-year old girl was shot down in front of her home by a stray bullet from 2 different gang members. It’s not that thy didn’t see the little girl, it was the fact they just didn’t care if she got caught in the crossfire. Right around the July 4th holiday we saw a crazy night full of drive-bys. July 3rd, 2012 15 people were shot and wounded within a 5 hour time span, including a ten-year old girl trying to escape the heat with an open fire hydrant. All unsuspecting and all but one incident being a drive-by. Mayor Emmanuel acknowledges the fact gang violence is a problem in the city, and when the heat rises so do the numbers of crimes, but his call to action? Don’t tell the gangs to stop shooting each other, he’s told them to take it to the alley ways. Even so the alley ways are open on both ends and still leads to stray bullets possibly hitting unsuspecting passers by. Chicago we need to protect our children. Don’t just move the violence in the corners. End gang violence now.
It would be nice if you were able to add in a quote from the Mayor on his opinion on the situation.
According to Prosecutors a man from Cicero is currently facing charges for allegedly locking his two children in the car. His children, ages one and five years old were locked inside of a car, in 80 degree heat. The children were locked in the car for a long period of time and needed medical attention to help with dehydration. The father has admitted to taking cocaine and drinking alcohol during the time the children were locked in the vehicle. So if anyone has been paying attention to the news you know that there is currently an election happening in November. As usual this election will come down to the republican candidate Mitt Romney, and the Democratic candidate, which just so happens to be our current president, Barack Obama. Now, keeping in mind that there is a presidential election happening in just a few short months let’s take a look at one of the new immigration reforms that was passed though just a week or so ago, to allow more people to become instant citizens. This was passed by Barack Obama WITHOUT the support of congress and is having a huge back lash from republicans. The New York Times explains the restrictions on the new reform, is that anyone who is “…age 16, have lived here for at least five years, and are in school, are high school graduates or are military veterans in good standing. The immigrants must also be not more than 30 and have clean criminal records.” Basically Obama just made 800,000 people citizens just before the election, without any support from the judicial or legislative branch. This is no happenstance. As the election becomes closer there is more and more proof that Obama should not be in office. This is proof that he is working to gain votes in any way that he can, despite what the law says he should be doing; using our system of checks and balances. He has decided to take the law into his own hands and secure himself an extra 800,000 votes.
I liked the audio dramas. I do not like music so I often listen to either talk radio or books on tape. These were a perfect combination of both. I found these extremely entertaining. I thought that the first one was more like a mystery novel, and the second one was very much like a play for the ear. I enjoyed how they both worked so well with just listening, I did not feel as though I was missing out on anything and they were lovely. The writing for both was very catchy and i liked how the word choices were not simple, but they were still understandable.
for someone who almost exclusively listens to music, i loved the audio dramas as well
I absolutely loved the first audio drama, everything about it screamed old school. The voices, the music behind it, the scene changes- great. They were easy to listen to and interesting enough to keep me listening. Everything is described to where I can imagine the settings as well as the people in them. It really did remind me of a movie, if I was in the room but not looking at the TV screen. The sound effects were also very clear, when there were gunshots I knew they were gunshots. I could tell when there were different characters entering in and the difference between the dialogue between the characters and when the narrator is speaking to the audience to fill us in on what we can't see. I could also tell the different ages of the characters. Overall I enjoyed these radio dramas very much!
I agree with you about the movie aspect thats exactly how i felt. also the narrator was spot on for the first one.
I agree with you that the sound effects added an extra element to the work.
The first audio drama was a lot of fun to listen to. The writing for it was classic and it really made you feel that if you closed your eyes you could see it happening. It made me want to keep listening and find out what would happen next. i didnt expect it to do so. it was also a fun topic and the mystery of it all made it fun. The second one i wasnt the biggest fan of but it wasnt because of the audio drama itself it was because of the connection i had. They did a very good job of the voice acting and keeping it fun. The writing in the second one was a little dry for me but i think that was just my preference. all in all lots of fun and enjoyed it for the most part.
I agree that the first drama was a little more interesting than the second one. It somehow drew the listener in more.
Tom PurrazzoDocumentary- unemployment/economic crisis1:30I am sitting outside of the Trader Joe’s in Orland Park today to fill out an application and I am thinking to myself, I remember when I was fifteen years old looking for my first job. I got so many call-backs from places back then I got to choose where I wanted to work. Now as a college grad, at twenty-three years old, I am taking any sort of job to make sure I can support myself. According to Bureau of Labor Statistics since 2002 the unemployment rate has jumped from five-percent to nearly nine percent now in 2012. I believe it. I am just one of the half-million grad students on the mystical hunt for a job since graduating college, at least that’s what The Chronicle says. But I don’t have to read a newspaper to see the sad fact that many friends and students such as myself are jobless right now, searching for that part time gig to make it by. Today I have been to seven places of business, ranging from restaurants to health clubs and no joke, four out of the seven places I went to I noticed another person filling out an application. Good luck right? The problem is many graduates and me personally are looking for that dream job to get us onto our feet. That career that we longed for, that we went to school for. Well I have sad news, a reality check if you will, for me and my starving college graduates; we are going to be working at Arby’s or bussing tables at TGIF with a college degree for the next couple of years because our economy isn’t looking up. I keep thinking that there is a light at the end of the tunnel but as of right now they turned off the light to save energy.
I really liked your closing line, it was something that drew the piece together.
I liked the first radio episode we got to listen, T-man. Something about old time radio soothes my soul. It's almost nostalgic in a way. The way the story was set up was great, I just closed my eyes and thought black and white old time show. I felt it was very easy to listen to as well, I almost got lost in it (in a good way) but that's good radio. I felt indifferent about with the second one for some reason, it wasn't like it was bad writing or the actors didn't paint the picture, I just felt it was a little dry and a little to sarcastic. I do like Orson wells though so.... I don't know this was just different. In comparison they both-like I said, painted the scene. Very cool over all, as a kid my dad used listen to these types of shows on the radio so this definitely brought back memories.
I liked the first one better than the second one. I agree with Tom, old time radio dramas have a certain sound and touch to them that are more appealing to me. The first one was definitely a little slower paced and easier to listen to, although it was a little bit confusing too. They both used dramatic music, and you could tell that the second show was trying to mimic the types of sounds that were used in old time radio. Both opened up with dramatic music. I also noticed some laughter in the background of the second one.